April 20th, 2010 – 6 month anniversary of my diagnosis…I faced the day with my second greatest results to come. Had the Brain Mets moved into my spinal cord and had the cancer spread to any other organs? At 3:00 my parents, John and I set out for the long-awaited appointment with peace that God was going before us and that no matter what we were told we are prepared to fight the good fight. With great love and support, I sat in the doctor’s office having a moment of peace.
The doctor walked in with a smile on his face and said ‘we have good news’, Praise God for simple words! The spinal scan is clear and the PET scan is clear, RELIEF and smiles filled the room. There’s a moment you have to absorb. He continued with where we are today and what our next steps are. It was a good visit for me to realign with him and make sure that we are all on the same fighting team. We all left with a confidence that we are moving forward with the best course of treatment, we will be on this journey for a little longer than I had hoped but it is a journey, not a quick fix. I will continue with Whole Brain Radiation (9 treatments remaining) and I will return to chemo on Friday. He feels this chemo is working and can penetrate the brain with the radiation. We are confident that this combination is my best fight. With some added chemo it will take me into June and we’ll re-evaluate in July.
I know this, God is using this beyond anything I can imagine. I stand in awe that I am the one He has chosen to walk this out. His grace and mercy in my life are more than I deserve and I feel inadequate many days to face it. His love blows me away. He has chosen to show us a miracle that can’t be explained and I get to sit in His presence and receive it, there’s not anything more that I could ask for. I continue to trust Him in all things even when I can’t understand. His love never fails.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” — Deuteronomy 31:6
“I am the Alpha and the Omega.” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty” — Revelation 1:8