Focus on What You Have

Welcome to the weekend, so glad it’s here.  Saturday brings a special joy with it….a day of rest from treatment.  It’s always a pleasure to know you have a couple of days off.  Today’s post is actually reflections of what I wanted to write yesterday but ran out of time so hopefully I haven’t forgotten everything.

As many can imagine it has been an emotional, tiring and shocking week.  Just when you think you’re on a course there’s a turn that you didn’t see coming but always knew was a possibility.  We’ve known from the beginning that the cancer could spread, we knew that my brain was one the high risk places along with my liver, lungs and ovaries.  There’s just nothing to prepare you when you learn it’s your brain.   Suddenly the course of treatment and everything about cancer takes on a new meaning.  However, that’s only our perspective, God never changes, He’s the same today, yesterday and tomorrow.  He’s still almighty, powerful and the healer.

This week has been a week of the same treatment (radiation) to a new part of the body and although I thought I knew what to expect it wasn’t quite the same.  Radiation to the brain has a different immediate effect than to the chest, go figure.  I have done well to adjust and learn quickly how to pace myself and listen to my body.   As Thursday night approached I spoke with John with a slightly heavy heart and as he listened and poured out his support and love to me I was reminded once again of Christ love for me.  I could not ask for more than the love I feel from John and for a man of such strength to walk by my side.  He daily reminds me this is a season.  He loves ME well and the cancer is always secondary, I could not ask for more.

As I awoke to Friday I was ready to face the big day ahead, PET scan and Radiation…in the moment of getting ready God spoke directly to my heart “Focus on what you have not what you don’t have.”  WOW!  I knew exactly what He meant, endure the side effects, fight the good fight without any complaints.  He has given me a course of treatment, I have a fight.  Ok Lord, this is my calling for this season.  You see, what some didn’t realize is I was dreading the side effects already and beginning to feel overwhelmed.  I realized quickly that the battle of the enemy is on…he comes like a thief in the night to steal, kill and destroy.  Our God is bigger.  That morning made for a sweet time with the Father as I moved forward with time to praise Him and focus on Him throughout the tests that were coming my way.  With each moment that I lay in a scan or lay in radiation, I praise Him and beg for His healing.  I had one of the best days on Friday, God is so good.

After my test and treatment, my chauffeur, ie. Mom drove me to Fellowship Technologies to drop off some paperwork.  It was a sweet time with family.  I watched as friends interrupted their day and came to love on me, pray over me and cry with me.  It’s not every day that you get to experience that kind of love in the workplace.  God has blessed me beyond measure for such a time as this.

I could not ask for more: a man who loves me more than I could ever imagine, family that loves me and supports me in all things, friends that have sacrificially gone above and beyond for me and a place of employment that is more than just a place to work, it is family.

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  —  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18



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4 responses to “Focus on What You Have

  1. curry

    Jenn…I have been thinking about you A LOT. your post today ministers to me, you have no idea. “focus on what you have not what you don’t have”….oooo, girl! THAT’S SO GOOD and hits ME right between the eyeballs!

    I’m so thankful for John in your life, so thankful for your parents, so thankful for the friends who rally around you and love on you. So thankful for you submitting yourself to fighting and being human at the same time. Know that I am praying for you, that Joe is asking after you and touched by your story as well.

    If I can provide a meal for you and the family, let me know. Cuz at the very least, something practical that I can do is cook!

    LOVE YOU, really do.

  2. Joycie

    No matter what is going on in your body you are still extremely blessed by a GOD that continues to hold you in His everlasting arms.

    A faithful God that has given you the strong arms and love of a man named John, who I can’t wait to meet. Dallas friends who have become extended family who we’re are also so thankful for – and look forward to meet them too.

    Can’t hardly wait to see you dear Jenn.

    Love & Hugs from us both.

  3. Patty Laramore

    Preach it, sister!!! Blessed to receive your words, better stated, a “teaching” of powerful impact. Just took your beloved John a banana shake for his birthday at his worksite (yes, even in the rain, he’s at it!) Praying for your strength that we might meet you very soon. Shalom, mighty woman of God!

  4. Chad

    Thinking and praying for you sweet friend. Let me know when you need me to drive you somewhere….remember, the wreck wasn’t my fault 🙂

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