Today did not go at all how I thought. I went into my oncologist appointment expecting a sign off and orders for chemo this Friday as scheduled. I knew the tumor had grown over the past 3-4 days but I just thought that was normal and we would proceed. I guess that’s why I don’t have a medical degree and he does. After a consult with his partner and an examine by Dr. Brooks (the partner) they want to go straight to surgery. They called and consulted with my surgeon and I soon found myself in her office being examined and readied for surgery.
Let me unpack why: first the tumor did shrink and respond to the chemo treatment. However, as the chemo is less in my body the tumor began to grow again and grow rapidly. Both oncologists feel that it is risky to continue with chemo because they don’t feel that the chemo will stay ahead of the growth. It shrinks but then it grows back just as fast. For example, it’s estimated to have shrunk 2cm after treatment but it’s grown back those 2 cm this week.
So Friday afternoon I will have a right modified radical mastectomy. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around that. My head is spinning a little bit as I sit and process what this means.
I know God is not surprised by the timing. I continue to trust Him through this. He has given me strength and peace when nothing else makes sense. His grace and mercy are new every morning and He give me abundant joy in the midst of trials. He has given me family and friendships that go above and beyond. I could not ask for more.
“Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:6-7