Another awesome day in spite of the continued hair loss. I am blessed to do life with amazing friends. I love the ability to keep in touch thru technology and feel like we’re in each other’s live’s daily. Thank you to each of you who take time out of your busy days to keep up with me and pray for me. I can’t express enough how much your comments mean to me and what encouragement they bring throughout my day. God uses each of you to speak to my heart. Trust me, He knows just the right time when I need a word and you all have been His messengers.
This weekend has been bittersweet. As I have faced the biggest battle of the war so far, loosing my hair, I was surrounded by mighty warriors who have stood strong and faithfully beside me this weekend. We have cried and laughed until we cried again. The sweetest moments are those shared with friends. I’m so glad that I have friends like all of you. I’m blessed by the friendships that have reconnected after many years and by the new ones that are forming through this journey.
As I continue to shed, I’m reminded of God’s love for me, ‘30And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.’ Matthew 10:30-31 As the hair comes out and the tears flow I’m brought to a place of comfort:
I am comforted when I realize that God is not a vast computer, but a feeling, emotional person, a grander image of myself. He loves, hates, pities, and sympathizes. Nothing proves His large heart of sympathy more than David’s words, “Put my tears in Thy bottle; are they not in Thy book?”, Psalm 56:8. God has a personal tear bottle for every one of His children; therefore, there is no sorrow He does not notice and no tear He does not record. Sometimes I weep in public and sometimes in private, but private or public, God catches my falling tears and saves them.
Why does God collect my tears and note my sorrows? I can come to only one conclusion – He is saving them for some tomorrow. There must be a day in the future when God will stop collecting my sorrows and start rewarding me for them. My suffering has a purpose. The tear bottle is the measuring bottle; notched along the sides are marks to indicate how full and complete my suffering has been.
How full is my personal tear bottle, now resting in the Lord’s hands? It may never be as full as that of Jeremiah, who wondered if “any sorrow was like unto his sorrow”, Lamentations 1:12; or like that of Paul, who ” gloried” in his sufferings for Christ’s sake, 2 Corinthians 11:18,23; and certainly not like that of Christ, whose tear bottle was big enough to hold the tears of the whole world. Do I weep over my own sins as Job did? Have I broken my heart over the hardness of men as Ezekiel did?
One day God will give me back my tear bottle – whether full or only partly so – and then I will have the privilege of doing what the woman did: pouring it over the feet of Him who both collects and rewards my tears, Luke 7:36-38. Then He will wipe away all tears from my eyes forever, Revelation 21:4.
No, I did not write those poetic words but I have carried them with me thru the years from an old devotional, I was reminded of them this weekend and pulled them out to read and share. I hope we all find some comfort in these words. God does not waste our hurts.
“The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.” — Zephaniah 3:17