Reaching Out

Something has changed today.  I believe that it began yesterday.  You see, I have been processing everything in ramped up time.  It wasn’t until yesterday that some things began to surface.   Some one very innocently, well-intentioned said to me “I understand”, my so and so had cancer.  They were speaking in love and trying to comfort me the best way they knew how.  It was in that moment that I realized, “no, no you don’t”.  You see, I am blessed with many people who are loving and caring for me in abundance. But there is one thing that can only be provided by someone who has lived it and that is true knowledge.  Knowing what it feels like to have a doctor look you in the face and utter those 3 words you never want to hear, “You have cancer”.  You see, there is nothing like that.  It is indescribable.

So today, I took one of the biggest steps I will take in this journey, I reached out to someone who is ‘like me”, 34 single female 8 months ahead of me on this journey.  I was able to say “help me understand and KNOW”.  She did, she shared a summary and offered a phone number with call anytime, day or night.  Because she knows, she knows where I am, what’s to come and those fears you never voice.  I have a great appreciation for her and I haven’t even met her yet.

Although she offers something not everyone can, she doesn’t replace any of you.  I am who I am because all of you have loved me, encouraged me and inspired me from near and far.  I’ve had a visual from the Lord each time I sit down to write, it is one of Moses standing on the mountain and he has his arms raised toward heaven praising God and others come along side him and hold his arms up for him.  That is what I see when I think of all of you.  As I stand to praise and honor our Father thru this journey I see all you alongside me holding my arms up.  I will confess, there are times I feel alone but I’ve never felt lonely as I continue to read your words and listen to your messages.  I love you all and together we will one day stand on the mountain and throw a celebration that surpasses all celebrations. 

Hey, I figure since I made it to 34 and haven’t had a wedding celebration yet might as well throw a party and I can’t imagine any better reason than to celebrate the life I have been given.  Love you all, thanks for letting me share my inner thoughts.

“Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord.  They rejoice in your name all day long; they exult in your righteousness.”  — Psalm 89:15-16

“In my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever.”  — Psalm 41:12

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14 Comments

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14 responses to “Reaching Out

  1. Erin

    So glad that you have someone who can TRULY help shoulder the burden! I can’t even begin to imagine! Praying for you friend!

  2. Kristie

    Hey! I was so behind on reading your blog! Going out of town threw me off. I love the video!! Nic showed it to me on Monday. Love the new do!
    I’ll call you tomorrow to catch up.

  3. Deanne

    Dear Jenn,
    Thank you for sharing your heart. I am thankful that you have reached out. Your life is a blessing, an incredible blessing… the wisdom your share is amazing.
    Love,
    Deanne

  4. Donna

    Jenn,
    You are a beautiful woman of faith, I love your bravery, courage and devotion. I loved all the new hairstyles and hearing you laugh! I miss you and continue to pray for you daily.

    Love you,
    Donna

  5. Denise

    You are amazing!

  6. Karen

    So thankful for your new friend…glad you have someone who does understand and is walking the same road. How neat to see how God has placed her in your life for you but also there is a reason YOU are in her life as well. She is going to have her socks blessed off by your friendship, love and faith.
    love ya friend,
    Karen S.

  7. Winnetta

    There is no understanding like those who have lived it! Good for you for reaching out. But even if I can’t understand, I can hold your arms up! Love you!

  8. Kelly Morgan

    I am so glad you have found someone who has lived what you are living! There is nothing like the support from someone who is going and has gone through what you are! I continue to pray for you everyday! You are a true inspiration! Love you!

  9. Joycie

    The Lord knows the desire of our hearts and He provides before we even ask Him to……He has provided once again for you during this journey…….so very proud of you and the beautiful woman of God that you are. Love you bunches!

  10. mcfchr

    Agreeing with everyone that I am glad you have taken this hard step … the intimate understanding of the journey and compassion you have for one another will be invaluable!!

    Love to you,
    Christy

  11. Shareese Rowland

    SO glad you have someone who is in your shoes a few steps ahead to reach out to. that is the best. We are praying for you Jen, already did this morning.
    Thanks for sharing your journey!!

  12. Maggie

    I am thankful that you have someone who has been there.

    Along with Win, I will be honored to hold your arms up.

  13. Lauri Rettinger

    Like you said in this post, so many of us who want to support and encourage you have never walked in your shoes and really don’t know how you feel….but I’m so glad that you have so many people who love you and want to help in any way they can! I want to be one of the arm-holders too! You are a rockstar and you and God WILL prevail in this fight!

  14. Nicole Knox

    This was a fantastic message, friend. When you are raw and candid you share a precious gift of personal, spiritual and emotional insight. Although no one can understand what it’s like to walk in your shoes, it helps to know where you’re at and sheds light on how we can reach out to YOU in ways that truly encourage and help. I’m praying that you’ll continue to reach out, that God will bring amazing people with similar experiences along side of you and continue to show us how we can minister to your spirit in ways that make a difference.

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