It’s Not About Me

Normal, I’ve forgotten what that is.  But what I do know is that I’d rather be in God’s story than have a normal one without Him.  We had an opportunity to participate in a live taping of Beth Moore at Life Outreach last night and today.  After a very short night of sleep we pulled ourselves together this morning and returned for the second day.  It was SO worth it.  You think an hour a week with Beth is intense in bible study try sitting in “class” for about 8 hours with her.  It was amazing.  God delivered a message that spoke straight to my heart.  It will take a few days to process all that we’ve learned today….WOW!!!

I had an amazing God moment today with these women laying hands on me and praying healing over me.  I was touched by the outpour of compassion and love from these complete strangers.  After the taping was complete a wonderful lady, Holly, came over to encourage me with her story and answered some very practical questions for me.  Things like, “cocktails” about every 21 days, the reality of the hangovers from the “cocktails” and how she was able to continue working through her treatment.  Sometimes you just want the details, tell me what I can expect.  She was so sweet and kind, I can’t wait to be her new friend.

After we left the studio I took Pam to the Ft. Worth Stockyards to see “real” cowboys and get a taste of the west.  Although she enjoyed it I think she was secretly wondering how long do we have to stay here and when can we get back to the city? 🙂  We wrapped up our day with a fabulous dinner in Sundance Square complete with dessert, chocolate of course because we’re girls.  It was over dinner that I realized I had a day without every thought being about “It”.   I was blessed today with teaching that challenges me in my walk, not my cancer, my relationship with the Father.  Because you see, I truly believe with all that is within me that this isn’t about me, it’s about our Father and how He will use this to bring glory to Him.  I am honored to be His vessel, He is the potter and I am the clay.   This is His story, I am a character and cancer is the subject in this chapter and remember this is just a chapter not the whole story.

“Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.”  – Jeremiah 17:14



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11 responses to “It’s Not About Me

  1. Jody Curran

    Finally, I’ve gotten your blog – the first try brought up some attractive oriental gal! So sorry to hear you’re dealing with this… and sort of jealous. When I showed up with colon cancer a good friend who had been diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer (9yrs earlier!) told me she was jealous – because God stepped in and she could feel his presence as never before…and she was right – He came along and hung in there through the entire deal and I never felt closer, either. He doesn’t give us grace in advance for stuff – but when we need it! I am still amazed at the peace I had through it all. He truly is sufficient – and I see it in your blogs. Hang in there – we’re all praying and confident that He is in control and loves you more than you could even know! We do, too. Jody

  2. Amen Sister! I was so thankful to get your text this morning, saying that y’all were going to make it! Today was a beautiful day to share with y’all and I think we all left greatly challenged and encouraged to chase after Him alone! Praying for you & look forward to chatting more about Beth’s words later. Love, Christie

  3. Chad

    Love you Jen, thinking of you!

  4. mcfchr

    Your words about the time in prayer and provision of another survivor to counsel and care for you brought tears to my eyes just now. Continually thankful for the ongoing grace(s) of God in your life.

    Lots and lots and lots of love … you are in my thoughts and prayers throughout every day.


  5. Lisa


    He is carrying you my friend and what a blessing… Your words show his light and mercy. Lots of Hugs and Prayers,

    Through this journey with you….

    Love Lisa Egan

  6. Karen

    Glad you had a fun God and girl weekend. Prayed for you this weekend that it would be a fun one and would go by quick so you can “get it started” this next week. I look foward to reading about your day everyday. It has become one of my favorite parts of the day. Love ya and hope tomorrow goes well with all of your reports.
    Karen S.

  7. Dianne Miller

    Dearest Jennifer

    You are on my mind and in my prayers. I am part of your army of friends that want to lift you up and see you through. May God surround you with His love through many loving friends and family.

    YOU ARE LOVED, Dianne

  8. Deanne

    Sweet Jennifer,

    God is using you already! You are a special sassy lady that God is using for his glory. I admire your courage and honesty.
    Thank you for sharing and caring through this present circumstance, I admire you and can’t wait to continue this journey with you filled with love and prayers!
    Love, Deanne

  9. Teddi


    You words are so inspiring! So proud to call you sister – you are an awesome example of faith in the middle of crisis and of what a relationship with Christ is supposed to look like. I love you! Teddi

  10. Fay

    Hi Jennifer,
    Heard from a number of people what is going on in your life right now, and I’m so, so sorry! Please know that Doug and I are praying for you and will continue to pray for you. God IS faithful… I’ve been cancer free for 2 years this month …. thank you Lord.
    Love and prayers,

  11. Lauri Rettinger

    You have such wonderful insight (and you’re a fantastic writer, by the way)! And you are SO right about this being merely a CHAPTER, not the whole STORY. God is certainly using you to be His voice during this chapter. And you’re going to kick this ‘chapter’s butt!!


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